my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
