You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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