did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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