is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize