Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize