You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize