just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
