So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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