I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
