Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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