i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
