oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
