I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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