I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
