Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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