Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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