My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
