hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i dont even know how to be here
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
