Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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