can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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