Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
