I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We have started to decorate penises.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
