Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Oh god it's open bar.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
