Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
