before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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