Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
