Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
