Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
how drunk are you?
Several
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
