i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
sarcasm needs its own font
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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