12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
