i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
