He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
How naked do you want me to be?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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