Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
