Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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