before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
