gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
