Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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