Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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