I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
