i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
