Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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