Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My feet surprised me
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