Christians are straight up FREAKS
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
