nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Non-Jews are for practice
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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