One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
