went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he puts the penis in happiness.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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