Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
