Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
