Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I love black thongs
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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