dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Alive.
So much puke
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
