just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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