4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just had sex bonerless
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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