My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
