I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
