i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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