Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
