So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize