used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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