I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
