So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
