you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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