just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
