Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
