I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
