Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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