standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
