My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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