Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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