Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
