five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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